I have been MIA on social media and here on my blog for the past month because I have been living again and it feels SO good. The past year, while I was trying to kick the worst of late stage Lyme and Babesia, I did IV antibiotics round the clock, so I was home bound. I spent most of my days confined to my bedroom, under the covers in my bed or on the couch. And while that may sound quite enticing, believe me… it’s not the charmed life you may expect. It was pretty awful. Actually, I hated it. I am a very “Type A” person and to be bed bound with this disease is already bad enough, but then to have a port and be attached to an IV pole a few times a day that takes hours to infuse was just torture. Sometimes the treatments made me sicker than my symptoms. To say the least, it was just a very hard year. There were days that I really didn’t know if it was worth it and I questioned what I was doing. It was a lonely and depressing time for me, but it was also a healing time of rest. I loved the quiet, introspective moments that home treatment provided. The time was good for my soul and my body.
I have hesitated writing a “post IV” blog update, because I wanted to make sure these past few weeks have been real. It’s been so wonderful. There have been moments when Ryan and I have caught each other’s glance when we are somewhere with the girls and we immediately know what the other is thinking. It’s usually something like, ”I can’t remember the last time I have been able to do this.” I was at a party last weekend where I played volleyball and ran around and played with my girls. It felt amazing. Then I came home and still had energy to clean the house. I have had good weeks and even full months in the past where I felt pretty good, but then relapsed really bad. This disease is already confusing enough, so I don’t want to give conflicting updates. For now I’m going to say that I am thankful I was able to do IV antibiotics for as long as I did and I definitely think it was the right choice for me. I am very pleased with the results. We haven’t seen changes this good in my energy levels, pain and neurological issues in over three years. I truly believe we have turned a corner. I am hoping this is the remission we have been praying for.
I know that I have a long road ahead of me to get my body back to full functionality. I have been fighting a parasitic and bacterial infection for many years, so there’s no way to know if we got “everything,” but I hope it was enough that this new health I’m experiencing will last a long time. I have still been getting my tremors and MS like symptoms. I continue to get fatigued pretty easily, but I am trying to find a new normal and be as balanced as possible so that my immune system will continue to grow stronger. I’m also working on losing my “treatment weight” and gain back some of the muscle mass that I lost from being bed ridden when I was at my lowest point. It has already started coming off because of how active I am lately and for that I am grateful. Again, I’m taking each day as it comes and I’m just ecstatic that the treatment killed the bacteria off enough that I get a taste of what life used to be like for our family. I hope it lasts forever.
Oh, how I have missed this living thing!
I don’t want to lecture you today, but please don’t take one day of your life for granted. I know it has become cliché to say. We plaster it all over Pinterest with our cutesy little quotes in the most adorable font, but hear me out: I don’t care if you are just running errands or picking up dog poop in your yard. If you are able to walk without pain, wake up without migraines, play with your children without having to take a nap, have a conversation without fear of forgetting words, or go have coffee with a friend without having to cancel because of exhaustion – REJOICE. You are ALIVE. You are HERE. You are WELL. Please let that give you a reason to smile.
Happy Fall from my neighborhood to yours!